Bad Jokes

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Bad Jokes; A joke worthy of being told by beth
Topic Started: Nov 17 2005, 05:51 PM (3,158 Views)
box	Nov 17 2005, 05:51 PM Post #1
Sofa Boy Posts: 1,255 Group: Senior Member Member #6 Joined: June 21, 2005	Two women friends had gone for a girl's night out. Both were very faithful and loving wives, however, they had gotten over-enthusiastic on the Bacardi Breezers. Incredibly drunk and walking home they needed to pee, so they stopped in the cemetery. One of them had nothing to wipe with so she thought she would take off her panties and use them. Her friend however was wearing a rather expensive pair of panties and did not want to ruin them. She was lucky enough to squat down next to a grave that had a wreath with a ribbon on it, so she proceeded to wipe with that. After the girls did their business they proceeded to go home. The next day one of the women's husbands was concerned that his normally sweet and innocent wife was still in bed hung over, so he phoned the other husband and said, "These girl nights have got to stop! I'm starting to suspect the worst.. my wife came home with no panties!!" "That's nothing" said the other husband, "Mine came back with a card stuck to her ass that said..... 'From all of us at the Fire Station. We'll never forget you.'



Ade	Nov 17 2005, 05:55 PM Post #2
Beth-prophet Posts: 9,150 Group: Senior Member Member #1 Joined: June 20, 2005	I am coughing my guts up, choking at the awfulness of that joke steals and emails everyone
	I expect a revolution before I count to ten. "In the box asking what does your job entail, you put 'I put a rein on people who spunk money up the wall.'"


Ade	Nov 30 2005, 10:27 PM Post #3
Beth-prophet Posts: 9,150 Group: Senior Member Member #1 Joined: June 20, 2005	Man goes into a doctor, "doctor doctor, I've got a niggling pain in my arse". Doctor bends him over, sees a bit of paper sticking out of there ... pulls it out, it's a Ł50 quid note. As soon as it comes out, he sees another Ł50 and again and again .... in total he pulls out 36 Ł50 notes out .... he goes "John, i've just pulled Ł1,800 out of your arse" .... John goes "aye, did tell you I wasn't feeling too grand" Didn't want to start a new thread for one joke, but this is awful
	I expect a revolution before I count to ten. "In the box asking what does your job entail, you put 'I put a rein on people who spunk money up the wall.'"


Ade	Dec 7 2005, 04:16 PM Post #4
Beth-prophet Posts: 9,150 Group: Senior Member Member #1 Joined: June 20, 2005
	I expect a revolution before I count to ten. "In the box asking what does your job entail, you put 'I put a rein on people who spunk money up the wall.'"


ian	Dec 7 2005, 05:10 PM Post #5
Beth-head Posts: 450 Group: Senior Member Member #7 Joined: June 21, 2005	An irish man walks into a bar and says ouch.....oh dear, if that's the best I can do, then I better not give up my day job, lol



Ade	Dec 7 2005, 05:23 PM Post #6
Beth-prophet Posts: 9,150 Group: Senior Member Member #1 Joined: June 20, 2005	Irishman, Englishman and a Welshman walk into a bar, the bartender goes "Is this some kind of joke?" ... I don't really have a day job, I only come out at night. :ph43r:
	I expect a revolution before I count to ten. "In the box asking what does your job entail, you put 'I put a rein on people who spunk money up the wall.'"


rc.cope	Dec 7 2005, 09:50 PM Post #7
Forum HIstorian Posts: 3,796 Group: Senior Member Member #2 Joined: June 20, 2005	An old miner has been out in the sticks for two years. One day, he walks into a town for a shave, haircut, and a meal. He goes into the diner and sees an Indian sitting in the back. He asks the waitress who the Indian is. She says; "That Indian has the best memory in the world." He walks up to the Injun and says; "What did you have for breakfast on Sept. 14th, 1948?" The indian replied; "eggs." Impressed, he walks off into the sunset. Two years later, he walks back into the same cafe in the same town. The very same Indian is sitting in the corner. He walks up to the indian and says; "How, Chief?" The Indian looks up at him and says; "Scrambled."
	I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy.


Ade	Dec 9 2005, 05:12 PM Post #8
Beth-prophet Posts: 9,150 Group: Senior Member Member #1 Joined: June 20, 2005	Groan ^ Why did Jesus die on the cross? He forgot the safe word and while I am in a silly mood, box put me onto this: http://holymoly.co.uk/homepage.html Sign up for the Fruday email, I laughed myself silly last week, and all afternoon.
	I expect a revolution before I count to ten. "In the box asking what does your job entail, you put 'I put a rein on people who spunk money up the wall.'"


rc.cope	Dec 9 2005, 07:41 PM Post #9
Forum HIstorian Posts: 3,796 Group: Senior Member Member #2 Joined: June 20, 2005	A rich blind man was travelling in his own private jet when he detected something was wrong. He found his way up to the cockpit, but got no response from the pilot. He fumbled around until he found the radio. He called out; "Help me, the pilot is dead, I'm blind, and we're travelling upside down." The control tower answered back; "How do you know you're upside down?" To which the blind man responded..."I've got shit running down my back!"
	I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy.


Ade	Dec 9 2005, 07:56 PM Post #10
Beth-prophet Posts: 9,150 Group: Senior Member Member #1 Joined: June 20, 2005	Hah! Couple more for the Man Utd fans What do a 3 point plug and Man Utd have in common? Both useless in Europe Man Utd have been dropped by their sponsors, Vodafone ... someone suggested EasyJet .... in and out of Europe in 30 mins
	I expect a revolution before I count to ten. "In the box asking what does your job entail, you put 'I put a rein on people who spunk money up the wall.'"


Ade	Dec 13 2005, 02:26 AM Post #11
Beth-prophet Posts: 9,150 Group: Senior Member Member #1 Joined: June 20, 2005	"Doctor, Doctor, I have a steering wheel down my trousers" "How does that make you feel", asks the doctor? "It's driving me nuts"
	I expect a revolution before I count to ten. "In the box asking what does your job entail, you put 'I put a rein on people who spunk money up the wall.'"


ian	Dec 13 2005, 06:59 PM Post #12
Beth-head Posts: 450 Group: Senior Member Member #7 Joined: June 21, 2005	Well, there was was some funny jokes in there.....Ade and Rob, you both know that you should be a comedy duo anyway how about, Ade and Rob ride again



Ade	Dec 16 2005, 04:55 PM Post #13
Beth-prophet Posts: 9,150 Group: Senior Member Member #1 Joined: June 20, 2005	Harsh!, but funny
	I expect a revolution before I count to ten. "In the box asking what does your job entail, you put 'I put a rein on people who spunk money up the wall.'"


Ade	Dec 16 2005, 04:58 PM Post #14
Beth-prophet Posts: 9,150 Group: Senior Member Member #1 Joined: June 20, 2005	http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/devon/4535132.stm Man gets life for setting fire to 2 bins.
	I expect a revolution before I count to ten. "In the box asking what does your job entail, you put 'I put a rein on people who spunk money up the wall.'"


rc.cope	Dec 16 2005, 05:48 PM Post #15
Forum HIstorian Posts: 3,796 Group: Senior Member Member #2 Joined: June 20, 2005	Wow! Talk about a hanging judge!
	I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy.


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